Well, I’ve been getting this question quite a lot past few weeks, so I wanted to take some time to jot down my reasons for getting a jaw surgery.
Fact 1: Currently, only four out of 28 teeth I have touch each other. In other words, these four troopers are what I depend on to chow down anything to everything.
Fact 2: My underbite is not what makes my head big. My head has been, and will always be big(er). It’s all relative, people.
Granted, I am not planning on becoming an actress or a model (unless Justin Bieber calls me directly) any time soon, so “to look prettier” will not be on my list of reasons. However, you can call me a lier if I wasn’t to expect a “better-looking” me, Hanna_v2, after the surgery. So here goes -
1. Chewing/Cutting food with my frontal teeth: It’s been my dream to cut noodles with my own teeth without the kind assistance of scissors. And trust me, you don’t wanna be chewing meat near a T-bone with four teeth only. It’s heck of a workout.
2. Lisp: I never knew I had a lisp until I gave a presentation in AP English my senior year of high school. Reenacting a lustful gal who was stuck in the second circle of Dante’s Inferno, I said, “Kisth me, oh pleaseth kisth mee!” Yep. I am definitely not fond of my lisp.
3. Mouth hanging open: I remember I was often scolded by my grammy who would see me with my mouth wide open while watching the TV and say, “all your luck will run out if you have your mouth hanging open like that.” Well, it seems like it wasn’t entirely my fault: since the lower jaw is elongated and heavier, it naturally hangs open unless I make a conscious effort to have my mouth closed.
4. Mouth breathing: I found out visiting an otorhinolaryngologist (definitely looked this one up) last winter that normal people normally breathe with their normal looking nose. Wahoo, I am keen on breathing through my two beautiful nostrils.
5. Avoid future complications: “People with unaligned jaws are prone to shaving their teeth down and developing hindering cross bites later on in life,” says Graham the Canadian jaw genius. If you know me well enough, the last thing I want by the time I hit 40 is to eat chicken soup and strawberry milkshakes for the rest of my life.
Wow. This was good. This really was a self-reminding process. Pleaseth pray for me, bros and hos. I will live to be a salt and light of this big world.
In the Lakers Locker Room.